I've ranted elsewhere about the dangers of comparing onesself to Monty Python. That said, allow me a moment of hyposcrisy.

"We'd like to opt out of your service. Here are our names."
"Just a moment... Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you. These names aren't listed in our database."
"So you're not going to let us opt out."
"I'm afraid it can't be done."
"But the customer is always right!"
"Not only do you wish to not be the customer, were you even using the service in the first place?"
"That's not the point! It's a scandal if you prevent people who'd like to opt out of your service from doing so!"
"I'm afraid the issue here is out of my hands. If you're not using our service, you can't opt out of it. Your quarrel is with the English language."
"Well, escalate me to that department!"